suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
