I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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