he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
