Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
