Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
