Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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