Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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