I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
