I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
