Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
