shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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