Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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