I puked a lego.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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