I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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