did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
