Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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