so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
either way he was missing a nipple.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
