Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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