i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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