i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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