Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
