Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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