dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
