is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
