well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
