Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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