He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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