The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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