it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
