like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
