he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
