Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
