I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
