Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
