Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize