he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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