She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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