Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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