if you like me you must not know who I am
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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