If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Come on in and take your pants off
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