do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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