well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
