You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
