The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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