he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
