I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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