Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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