new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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