I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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