i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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