That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
