come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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