my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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