VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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