Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
