Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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