Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
