Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
