so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize