Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Still dying that you shit outside
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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